On arrival, you will go through Immigration, then will pick up your bags and go through Customs. After customs, you will be dumped out into the International arrivals meeting area. Bear to the right, go straight through the cluster of limo drivers. You will find several ATMs on the wall ahead of you. Get some money. Try to phone me; I will be watching arrivals on the Internet so will know when you land but it might take some time to clear customs and immigration… If you phone me, I won’t have to wait as long for the bus since I’ll better be able to judge which bus you’ll be on. The phone system here is somewhat hard to deal with depending on the type of device calling, the type of device being called, and the carrier, so after the fourth or fifth try, please feel free to give up (it took me ten or twelve attempts to get through to the apartment keyholder when I got here, fwiw).
Turn to the left and walk to the end of the terminal. There are two exits on this side of the terminal, one to the right of a luggage store (farther from you) and one on the left of the luggage store (right in front of you). On the sign above the exit will be directions to bus stops 16 – 22. You are not interested in these bus stops but this will let you know that you have the right exit.
Go through the exit and follow the sidewalk. On the left hand wall will be a series of doors. The second door on the left (I believe) is to a bus waiting room. Go through this door, cut through the waiting room, and go out onto the bus platform beyond. The bus to Reading will arrive on this platform; the bus to Reading runs every twenty or thirty minutes. The bus itself is blue and fuschia and says RailAir on the side. The surly bus driver will tell you that it is the right bus.
Relax and enjoy your ride. As you enter Reading, you will be able to see the Red Menace buildings to your right. I’m sure you’d hate to miss them; no fear, though; the train to London goes right by as well.
See you at the station. If I don’t happen to be there, please just wait; I’ll be along shortly.